Managing holiday mental health
We see images of happy families, festive gatherings, and perfect presents everywhere we look. For many, this is a wonderful time of year. But for others, the pressure can mask a period of intense stress, loneliness, and emotional pain.
The festive season can amplify existing mental health challenges or even create new ones. The financial strain of gift-giving, the pressure of social events, and the reminder of lost loved ones can turn a supposedly cheerful time into a difficult one. If you find the holidays more overwhelming than wonderful, you are not alone.
Why are the holidays so hard?
The gap between the “perfect” holiday ideal and our reality is often where mental health struggles begin. Several factors contribute to this festive friction.
The pressure to be perfect
From decorating the house to cooking the perfect meal and finding the ideal gift, the holidays come with a long list of expectations. This pressure to create a flawless experience can lead to significant stress and anxiety. Social media often makes this worse, as we scroll through highlight reels of others’ seemingly perfect celebrations, leading to comparison and feelings of inadequacy.
Financial strain
The holidays can be expensive. The cost of gifts, food, travel, and decorations can quickly add up, creating a heavy financial burden. This stress can trigger anxiety and even depression, as individuals worry about debt and meeting the expectations of family and friends without breaking the bank.
Complex family dynamics
For many, holiday gatherings mean navigating complicated family relationships. Unresolved conflicts, differing opinions, and old wounds can easily resurface, turning a festive dinner into a stressful ordeal. The pressure to “just get along” can be emotionally draining and leave you feeling exhausted rather than uplifted.
Common holiday mental health struggles
While everyone’s experience is unique, certain mental health challenges are particularly common during this time of year.
Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)
As the days get shorter and darker in winter, some people experience Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), a type of depression linked to the changing seasons. Symptoms often include low energy, moodiness, and a lack of interest in activities you once enjoyed. While Australia’s summer holidays mean SAD is less common here than in the Northern Hemisphere, reverse SAD can occur, with the heat and social pressure of summer causing similar symptoms.
Increased Anxiety
The holiday rush, packed shopping centres, endless to-do lists, and a calendar full of social commitments, can be a major trigger for anxiety. People may experience everything from a constant sense of unease to full-blown panic attacks. The pressure to socialise can be particularly difficult for those with social anxiety, making parties and gatherings feel like minefields of stress.
Loneliness and Grief
The holidays are a time for connection, which can make feelings of loneliness and isolation feel even more acute. This is especially true for those who have recently lost a loved one, gone through a breakup, or live far from family. The empty chair at the dinner table or the absence of a familiar tradition can be a painful reminder of what’s missing, making grief a heavy companion during a supposedly joyous season.
How to protect your mental health
Navigating these challenges requires intention and self-compassion. Here are some strategies to help you manage your mental well-being during the holidays.
Set realistic expectations
First, let go of perfection. Your holidays don’t need to look like a scene from a movie. It’s okay if the food isn’t flawless, the decorations are simple, or you don’t make it to every single party. Focus on what truly matters to you, whether that’s quiet time with a few loved ones or starting a new, low-key tradition. Give yourself permission for things to be “good enough.”
Create and stick to a budget
Take control of financial stress by creating a realistic holiday budget. Decide how much you can comfortably spend on gifts, food, and other expenses, and stick to it. Consider creative, low-cost gift ideas like homemade treats, a heartfelt letter, or a shared experience. Remember, the value of a gift isn’t in its price tag.
Learn to say No
Your time and energy are finite resources. You do not have to accept every invitation or take on every holiday-related task. It’s okay to politely decline an invitation if you’re feeling overwhelmed or simply need a quiet night in. Setting boundaries is not selfish; it’s a crucial act of self-care that protects your mental and emotional reserves.
Acknowledge your feelings
If you’re feeling sad, lonely, or anxious, allow yourself to feel those emotions without judgment. It’s tempting to push difficult feelings aside in an effort to appear cheerful, but suppressing them often makes them stronger. Talk to a trusted friend or family member about how you’re feeling. If you’re grieving, find a way to honour the person you’ve lost, whether it’s by lighting a candle, sharing a memory, or visiting a special place.
Prioritise Self-Care
Don’t let your own well-being fall to the bottom of your to-do list. Make time for activities that help you relax and recharge.
Maintain a routine: Try to stick to your regular sleep, eating, and exercise habits as much as possible.
Move your body: Even a short walk can boost your mood and reduce stress.
Limit alcohol: While it might seem like a quick fix for social anxiety, alcohol is a depressant and can worsen feelings of anxiety and depression in the long run.
Find quiet moments: Step away from the noise and find a few minutes for yourself each day, whether it’s to read, listen to music, or simply breathe.
Seek professional support
If you’re struggling to cope, don’t hesitate to reach out for professional help. A therapist or counsellor can provide a safe space to talk about your feelings and develop coping strategies. Many services offer online or phone-based appointments, making it easier to get support during a busy time.
Finding your own festive peace
The holiday season doesn’t have to be a source of dread. By acknowledging the challenges and taking proactive steps to protect your mental health, you can navigate this time with greater ease. It’s about shifting the focus from external pressures to internal well-being.
Instead of chasing a picture-perfect holiday, aim for one that is authentic, manageable, and genuinely meaningful to you. Whether that means surrounding yourself with loved ones or finding solace in quiet moments alone, you have the power to redefine what this season means for you.
If you or someone you know is struggling, remember that support is available. In Australia you can contact Lifeline at 13 11 14 or Beyond Blue at 1300 22 4636 for immediate 24/7 assistance.
If you want to learn more about your emotions and how to manage them, explore our online courses, like our Working with Emotions online course available to you with lifetime access.